NEW WORD COMBO!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA OVER BREAK!!! WHAT IF SOMEONE HAD AN EPIC FAIL SO HILARIOUS, BUT DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WORDS TO SAY? WELL, WAIT NO LONGER, FOR I HAVE DEVISED A HILARIOUS COMBO OF FAIL AND 'WOOT'. YEAH, YOU HEARD ME, 'WOOT'!!! I HAVE CREATED "EPIC WOOT" AND HERE IS THE DEFINITION: AN EPIC WOOT HAPPENS WHEN A PERSON FAILS SO BAD THAT IT'S FUNNY TO EVERYONE WHO HAD WITNESSED IT. EVEN THE PERSON WHO FAILED IS LAUGHING. I'VE HAD A FEW BEFORE SO I NOW USE THIS WORD COMBO WHENEVER I FAIL EPICLY. HOPE YOU USE IT TOO. BY THE WAY, MY STORY: THE CURSED ANGEL, IS COMING ALONG WELL, IF YOU'RE WONDERING. I'M ALMOST TO THE PART WHERE THEY GET LOST IN A FREAK SNOWSTORM. BUT CAN'T GET TOO FAR INTO THAT. LATERS!!! L=<

Ugh... Valentines Day X-P

Okay, If you’re reading this, you’re now sworn to secrecy. The only reason: Dragons. But, that’s beside the point. Anyway, Dragons are a very festive bunch, being sentient (intelligent). They celebrate all of the holidays that the countries they live in celebrate. Basically, Different Species of Dragons celebrate different holidays. For example, the Lung (AKA Asian Lung), is a Chinese dragon that celebrates the Chinese New Year by weaving in and out of the fireworks launched from below. American Dragons, which resemble the shape of the European Dragon, are darker in coloration ranging from pure black to midnight blue. They celebrate Independence Day, Memorial Day, and Labor Day. Anyway, Valentine’s Day is one of the major holidays that the A.D.s celebrates.
Don’t ask me why, I’ve been investigating it for seventy years! That’s a good chunk of my life right there! I’ve only been alive for… uh… about a-hundred-and-fourteen years! But back to the matter at hand… Male Dragon Tamers haven’t understood the workings of the higher-ranking Female Tamers, that’s because WE have to do all of the work! Cooking, cleaning, and the *shiver* laundry… The females always disappear for the whole week before Valentine’s Day. And we found out why in 2008: they help dragons ask the loves of their lives out. Typical… Girls messing around in the affairs of natural selection; Ugh… Being a rogue, I help a little myself. Sort of… What I did to the girls was:
A. Egged them
B. Threw water ballons
C. Glued them to their seats
D. Replaced their hair gel with itching powder mixed with water
E. Dug a pitfall
F. Flushed the toilet when they were in the shower
G. Set the spray nozzle on ‘on’ when they used the sink
H. Covered the doorways in saran wrap
I. And Hijacked all of their cars and sank them in the Detroit River.
I got chewed out so-o bad after that I was sent to the Reform Center for Unruly Tamers. AKA: Stevenson High School. Four years later, I’ll get them back. But While I’m here, better start planning.
= j

New Tamers Wanted!!!

Reader,
I thought that I'd mix it up this year and advertise being a 'Tamer'. Being a Tamer does have it's advantages; Near-perfect eternal life for example. You kill yourself, you're dead. But anything else (guns, knives, DragonFlame) you might live. Depending. ANY way... Tamers, when they start, get a copy of The Tamer Code. Tamer Code is a set of rules that Tamers must comply with otherwise they get… well… punished. But there is some lenience, New Tamers receive five blank lines in their handbook for rules they write themselves. I put a copy of my own Code below so you can see an example of what The Code looks like. Anyway, I wrote this for a reason so… If you would like an application, see me for information.
--Martin Jaramillo
Livonian Dragon Tamer

Translation of Tamer Code
1: Male Tamers must respect females.
2: Tamers must respect Everyone's True Names.
3: Tamers must not harm the Dragon Race.
4: Tamers must defend the public from the Rampages of Dragons.
5: Tamers must always keep their True Names to themselves and their most trusted friends.
6: Tamers must record all Dragon encounters.
7: Tamers must not show their copy of the Tamer Code to other Tamers.
8: Tamers must respect their corresponding Religions.
9: Friends are a Dragon Tamer’s most valued asset; and Greatest Weakness.
My Five ‘Self-Written’ Rules*
11-15: Martin may…
a. opt out of recording Dragon Encounters.
b. Seclude himself from ‘friends’ if he wishes.
c. opt out of defending the public
d. convert between being a ‘rogue†’ D.T. to a ‘regular’ D.T. whenever he wants.
e. be allowed to hurt Dragons when need be.

* New Tamers are allowed to add five rules of their own.
† Rouges may do whatever they want with their belongings. (Including their Tamer Code)

Cursed Angel: Mission Unknown

“Why am I in this situation?” I thought hastily


Here I am, sprinting down an alleyway, behind me…
“Hey, freak! Come back so we can kick your ass!” said a voice
“How ‘bout ‘no’?” I yelled.
My answer: three shots from a 45 caliber Smith & Wesson pistol. All that was going through my head at that time: “I to effing young to die!”
“Oh, come on kid, were just going to put some lead in ya!” shouted the voice.
“Yeah, lead!” said another.
“Great, company…” I thought nervously.
I rounded the corner, and found myself in a dead end. Not good. Being in a dead end with a small gang of jocks after you, in Livonia is very, very bad!
“Hey you son of a bitch! I’m right here.”
I turned around; it was Jim Schmitzky, the school hotshot (bully)
“You ready for your seven oh clock beating, Jones?” Jim spat.
I didn’t answer; I was too freaked out to do it.
“I need to know, kid!” He warned.
I tried to inch around the side to get away but the other kids who were with him blocked my hasty escape.
“N-No. I’m not r-ready for it.” I stammered.
“Wrong answer.” He said flatly. There was one shot...

Great start huh? yup... story being started by your's truly. please suggest some things for the main part. Doomo Arigatoo. =]

Dragons

Readers,

Welcome to The Dragon's Lair; My haven for the hidden, cove for the cryptic, or whatever the hell you want to call it. My home for all of the things fear has bred but man has never understood. This time, we delve into the mysterious world of the Dragon. The Draco (commonly Dragon) is a fascinating creature, shrouded in myth and legend. This is a false statement. The dragon is real! I’ve seen a young one not two years past. It was about 5 ft long (meaning it was about three weeks old or something) and flying a west south westerly direction. The young reptile was probably out on a foraging run about thirty miles from the nest. The limit for these youngsters is about one hundred miles. I stood for a half hour till I regained my senses. I had not told anyone about it until now.
Secrets, of course, don’t last forever. The young dragon is probably out of the nest and well over ten feet by now. Another year, he’ll most likely be looking for the love of his eternal life; not unlike like me, I guess. Anyway, I may see him again. Maybe… The most common dragon in the US would be the Amphiptere, an armless dragon with legs and wings. The dragon may also have front legs depending on the species. These are the species usually stumbled upon guarding treasure or the secrets of the Universe. The most famous dragon of this species is named Quetalcoatl. He was a peaceful dragon, like most, but was driven away from his village, Tollan (The Serene Dragon). I, unfortunately, do not know what has happened to him. Considering dragons are immortal, he should be fine.
They can even breathe in space! Dragons have this innate ability to travel through space somehow! This is my theory on how dragons are so rare.
• The evolution of Humans caused the secrets of dragons to fall into jeopardy
• The majority of the Dragon population flew off into the heavens causing use humans to become the dominant species on Earth.
• Some Dragons (I call them Guardians) stayed behind to oversee our evolution.
• The Guardians, so secluded, seeped their way into our Legends
Yours Truly,
Martin Jaramillo
The Dragon Tamer

My <3 Life 2

Hey, yes, you’re probably still disappointed If, you read “My <3 Life”. But, I can’t say I blame you, considering I delayed the inevitable; Again. Anyway, you already know how screwed up my L.L. is. And the whole point is that my slowly deteriorating mind is undergoing more pain because I was shot down; again (for the millionth time, I think). Well, I guess most of you think that I’m an un-datable dork/nerd/emo etcetera, etcetera. Well, depending on your views, I guess I am. Yes, that includes you Taylor, Mara, Diana, Denise, and Bridget. Others also think I’m just a hopeless nutcase (*Cough* Melanie *Cough*). Well that’s probably true too. Still, I think I have a TEENY TINY chance at T.L. Hey, cheer up, there’s still a lot more for me to reveal to you readers.
I, personally, think I’m screwy in the head for writing this; Revealing my innermost secrets to the public. The whole idea is screwy! I mean come on! Fielder puts us up to writing about random things on our blogs! It’s crazy!
Anyway back to the task at hand; everyone in Fifth hour thinks I have no sense of romance. And that’s true to me. But I’ve still been egged on to write this crappy post. Sorry, language. I’m just really angry at Mara for asking me to do this. My entire life is a lake that’s drying up. It’s practically going down to H*** (More Language). My God… Love to me is pointless because it’s always coming back to bite me in the A** (MORE Language). And yet I continue this S***** Post (MORE Language). Great, I’m going crazy. Just Great *Grumble Grumble*. Well, I guess I’ll go ahead and tell you guys who I used to (and still do) like. *Sigh* her name is Alexis Smith and she did go to Holmes Middle School. THERE! I SAID IT! HAPPY!?!?!? Phew… sorry for the snap, I guess you know now… Happy Thanksgiving. :P

My <3 Life

Okay, I know I promised I'd tell you who my crush was, but... I KNOW THAT YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH AT THIS. My crush is: A***** S****. Yes, I can feel your disappointment in the air. I know how mean I am but hey, this post is in two parts. you might find out. Later...