Ugh... Valentines Day X-P

Okay, If you’re reading this, you’re now sworn to secrecy. The only reason: Dragons. But, that’s beside the point. Anyway, Dragons are a very festive bunch, being sentient (intelligent). They celebrate all of the holidays that the countries they live in celebrate. Basically, Different Species of Dragons celebrate different holidays. For example, the Lung (AKA Asian Lung), is a Chinese dragon that celebrates the Chinese New Year by weaving in and out of the fireworks launched from below. American Dragons, which resemble the shape of the European Dragon, are darker in coloration ranging from pure black to midnight blue. They celebrate Independence Day, Memorial Day, and Labor Day. Anyway, Valentine’s Day is one of the major holidays that the A.D.s celebrates.
Don’t ask me why, I’ve been investigating it for seventy years! That’s a good chunk of my life right there! I’ve only been alive for… uh… about a-hundred-and-fourteen years! But back to the matter at hand… Male Dragon Tamers haven’t understood the workings of the higher-ranking Female Tamers, that’s because WE have to do all of the work! Cooking, cleaning, and the *shiver* laundry… The females always disappear for the whole week before Valentine’s Day. And we found out why in 2008: they help dragons ask the loves of their lives out. Typical… Girls messing around in the affairs of natural selection; Ugh… Being a rogue, I help a little myself. Sort of… What I did to the girls was:
A. Egged them
B. Threw water ballons
C. Glued them to their seats
D. Replaced their hair gel with itching powder mixed with water
E. Dug a pitfall
F. Flushed the toilet when they were in the shower
G. Set the spray nozzle on ‘on’ when they used the sink
H. Covered the doorways in saran wrap
I. And Hijacked all of their cars and sank them in the Detroit River.
I got chewed out so-o bad after that I was sent to the Reform Center for Unruly Tamers. AKA: Stevenson High School. Four years later, I’ll get them back. But While I’m here, better start planning.
= j